i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
