i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
They took my balls.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
