i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
