look no pants
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize