he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
