there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
