You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize