my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
