i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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