So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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