also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize