The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
