Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
