I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
