You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize