how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
