i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My pussy is not your playground.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
