DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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