Swine flu. Run for my life!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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