I just saw a hot homeless man
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I have tasted many bathrooms
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
