yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
