i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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