i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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