I smell stomach acid.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
