I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
