Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
