eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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