Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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