She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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