i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex