i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I have aggressive nipples.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?