I think my vagina is haunted
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize