so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes