he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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