bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
