she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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