He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize