We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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