my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Randomize
