evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
