If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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