why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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