apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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