I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
