no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The power of my boobs compel you
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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