You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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