My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
