So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize