do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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