i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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