we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
