I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
