I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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