So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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