i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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