goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Every concussion has its silver lining
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
