you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
