Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
