why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
