i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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