if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
