just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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