Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
