Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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