I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
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I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
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Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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