my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
How naked do you want me to be?
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
