He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
