Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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