I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
