YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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