She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize